Last Friday night I inadvertently touched off what I can only refer to as a gastronomic throw-down at The Ruffed Grouse Bistro in beautiful downtown Thornbury.  [Not sure The Beaver Motel is considered "downtown"...although it is certainly not "uptown" either! -Ed.]

For those of you who have not yet had the pleasure — and I had not, until last night — The Grouse, as it is affectionately known, is an unassuming little hole-in-the-wall located in the funny square building next to the infamous Beaver Motel out on Hwy. 26.  I’d been itching to try it, but had not had an appropriate excuse until my friend Jacquie, who had met me for drinks, suggested that it might be a good idea to line our stomachs before continuing.  She had no idea what she was setting in motion.

Well, folks, the location and decor may be unassuming, but THE FOOD is not.  THE FOOD kicks ass and takes names.  THE FOOD takes you out back to the woodshed for some schooling.   THE FOOD takes no prisoners.  [Oh enough with the battle analogies already! -- Ed.]  THE FOOD throws you into a rat hole in North Vietnam!  [Had to. -- WBC]

THE GAUNTLET IS THROWN DOWN.

It all started when we asked to see the chef to discuss recommendations.  There appeared from the kitchen Chef Matthew Moreau.  Now Matt could probably be a bit intimidating if you totally ignored the twinkle in his eye, which of course we did not.  When he asked what we were having, our response was “We dunno!  What’re we having??”  With a smile that can only be described as diabolical, Chef Matt asked us if we trusted him.  Uh…NO!!!  but OH YES PLEASE, CHEF!!  Cue the maniacal laughter — the game was on…

THE OPENING SALVO.

In the absence of Chef Matt, we were being ably looked after by waiter Glenn, who managed to get us lubricated in preparation for the onslaught.  If I had one criticism to level here, it would be the inadequacy of the wine list.  Such victuals require wines that can punch at a similar weight [I can see there will be no exhausting your supply of conflict references today... -- Ed.], and there are really none to be had here.  However, a decent bottle of vino calapso (as a friend likes to call it) never hurt anyone, and so we partake.

We started off with a delicious little mix of mushrooms in a tarragon butter/white wine reduction that was straight off the menu.  Totally worthy, but in retrospect, Chef Matt was clearly just toying with us.

Personally, I loved our second course, which was a delightful little honey-glazed quail on a bed of mixed greens, blueberries, and raspberries.  The balsamic vinaigrette was flavourful but light and didn’t overpower the quail at all.  Regrettably not on the menu, but an occasional special as I understand it.

LA PETITE MORT.

Let me be honest here.  When I start to think about courses 3 and 4, I have to fan myself.  Course 3 was a mash-up of the two duck dishes on the menu, and if you like duck (heck, even if you DON’T like duck!), you cannot go wrong here.  My personal fave was the duck confit with duck demi-glace and some poached peach fabulousness….there were other things in there too but seriously….duckety, duck, duck, DUCK.  Go try it for yourself.  You’ll thank me.  Oh, and home-made rice pilaf and braised root veggies…woo hoo!

Now.  Course 4.  Jacquie and I are both carnivores of the “just knock its horns off and wipe its bottom” persuasion (sorry, that’s an expression my uncle from Texas uses…although Texans wouldn’t be caught dead saying “bottom,” if you catch my drift…)  And it is extremely difficult to get your meat cooked rare in Ontario due to some health regulation that I’m sure is very necessary, but which I wish people would sometimes ignore.  One way around this is to grind your own meat in-house [wow, that was seriously borderline, even for you... -- Ed.]  [I didn't mean it THAT way!  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Hee hee hee. -- WBC].

Where was I…   ah yes, the Steak Tartar.  Steak Tartar with a big fat duck egg yoke on the top.  Steak Tartar with all the seasoning goodies in colourful little piles around the outside of the plate.  The visual was wonderful, but aaaaaaaaaaaaah the Steak Tartar.  Most definitely not on the menu.  But should be.

Must go have a cigarette…

MORE TEA, VICAR?

Bottle numero due (hey, it was italian wine) is opened and the debauchery continues…

HURTS SO GOOD.

It was around about this point that Chef Matt emerged again from the kitchen [To find out what all the moaning was about? -- Ed.] to inquire as to whether on not we were done.  We protested loudly (and foolishly, as it turns out) that we were NOT EVEN CLOSE!!  And that he should keep it coming.  Some other, more incendiary, language might have been tossed around as well.  Something about his mother.  Egad.

It was also around this time that Chef/Owner Steve Lumree arrived and decided that Matt was having WAY too much fun with us and that, dammit, that was HIS prerogative!   The tag team began.

Courses 5 and 6 followed in quick succession.  Steak and ricotta ravioli (Note to self:  need to show these guys how to make homemade ricotta.) with **quick shudder of delight** BACON in it.  and wine…lots of wine.  and parmigiano.  I have absolutely no idea if this is on the menu because the incipient food coma was causing me to have random blackouts and I forgot to ask.  Next, roasted mushroom caps with smoked trout, herbs provencal, something else, and black cherry orgasm sauce.  One word:  wow.

FOIE GRAS.

I’m beginning to understand how the goose feels.

WAKE-UP CALL.

Course 7 snapped me out of my fog.  Chef Steve created something that, even with all of the spectacular things that were coming out of the kitchen that night, was exceptional.  Buckwheat noodles, cooked perfectly, with braised sea urchin/white wine reduction compound butter [you just made that up! -- Ed.]  [Prove it. -- WBC] on nori (that’s seaweed to the layperson).  It was so beautiful and subtle, Jacquie and I had to stop and have a moment of silence in appreciation.  Plus the angels were singing.  I’m just sayin’…

Chef Steve caught me licking the chopsticks.  (And don’t think we didn’t notice the matching red felt liners under the bowls, Chef!)  Superb.

WAFER-THIN MINT.

Oh God.  Dessert.  I’m just going to show you my one picture of the evening here:

From left to right:  1) flourless chocolate cake with Toblerone ganache and strawberries, 2) date sticky toffee pudding with white rum caramel sauce, 3) bread pudding with Grand Marnier, creme anglaise, and blueberries, and 4) semi-sweet chocolate chunk pastry cookies with maple meringue.

What can I say?  Aside from the audible moans of pleasure, we were speechless.  Beautiful presentation, stunning flavours, gorgeous textures.  [I though you were speechless? -- Ed.]  [Really?!  Have you met me? -- WBC]

UNCLE.

I don’t know how, but Jacquie and I managed to stagger out of there at about 1:00 a.m. and, yes, walk all the way home.  (Seems that chefs can get quite chatty when they sense victory, so we had to lull them with alcohol in order to make our getaway.)  Okay, guys…you win.  You slayed us with your cooking.  Now, about the decor…

Seriously, people, if you get a chance to go, GO.  We need to keep Chefs Steve and Matt around, and maybe even give them a fighting chance [There you go again. -- Ed.] at a better location!

Yours from the haze of Day Two of my food hangover –

Wendy

Rant ‘n Raves: The Cheese Gallery

Walking along the main street in Thornbury last Friday, I happened upon “The Cheese Gallery…edible art.”

How had I missed this in the past?  Two of my favorite past-times, food and art!   Mon Dieu!!!  My heart skipped a beat…was it going to be art inside these doors, or food?!  Alas, it was both:)

Big comfy chairs beckon you inside, and along with my personal mantra!

….a smile crosses my face.  Ah, home away from home:)

The space that enfolds The Cheese Gallery is bright without feeling sterile.  White, black and stainless steel can be off-putting or even dated, but here, with the backdrop of chalkboards, antiques and a gorgeous periwinkle/lavender on the walls;  it is crisp, artful and inviting.

There are places to pause and sit, or to take in all of the cheese related accompaniments.   Fresh bread anyone?  The offering of serving pieces seem to be made by local artisans.  Nicely done.

I picked up a couple of balsamic syrups; one infused with fig, the other pear.  In fact there is a tasting bar so that you can sample before you buy.  Also, nice.

The first time I dropped in, I had a great chat with one of the owners,Casey Thomson.  She is clearly into her cheese!  Passion is more like it.  Her staff carry that enthusiasm in recommending cheese.  The variety and quantity is ever increasing, so it is helpful to have knowledgeable and friendly people around to guide you.  It can be overwhelming and intimidating.  They gently encourage you to go beyond your regular aged cheddar and try balsamic cheddar from Wisconsin….I needed no prodding to bring home creamy French Brie with a truffle mousse.  My quick snack on Friday evening…candied walnuts, fig cake…be still my heart!

The second time I popped in, the shop was packed.  My friend and I decided to return later…which we did!  I managed to get a couple of pictures before it was full again.  Some people don’t like getting their photos taken,…so I couldn’t zoom in for a close-up;)

However, I think that you get the picture!

If this isn’t enough….wait for it…..they are licenced!  They sell wine to compliment their seemingly limitless bounty of cheesy comestibles!  Word on the street is that they make a killer grilled cheese! Speaking of  John Cleese, you knew that I couldn’t report here without leaving you with my all time favorite Monty Python Skit.

Nan chose to celebrate her 88th birthday amongst 32 of her closest friends and family at an outdoor reception on the grounds of Georgian Hills where a Perfect Pairing was conducted in partnership with Robert Ketchin of the Georgian Hills Vineyards and The

Cheese Gallery.

It was a perfect day under the birch trees tasting local fine wine and cheeses.

Happy Birthday Nan!

Well, the Birthday Bash is done, and most of us have recovered from our over-refreshment…the Limey Bastards went down a little too well!

We owe some people lots of thanks:

1.  first and foremost, our fabulous band Parsons & Brown (or Parson Brown, as I like to call them…too much Frosty the Snowman in my youth), who tirelessly played on well past their appointed witching hour,

2.  Courtney of the Thornbury Bakery Cafe, who made our seriously decadent birthday cake (get this — honey lavender goat cheese cake with chocolate silk buttercream icing — I kid you not),

3.  all of  our suppliers who donated treats for our raffle, chief amongst them, the lads at the Cheese Boutique in Toronto, Afrim and Agim,

4.  our wonderful staff who helped us prep — decorating, stocking up, and putting up with my strange experimental drink-making [all in the service of the now infamous "Slimey Bastard" I'm sure. - Ed.], and

5.  OF COURSE, our loyal customers, who showed up and celebrated, and who have made our first year so very memorable!!!

Now….on to the misadventures of the evening!

Casey was at it AGAIN with the Brown-eyed Girl…why am I even slightly surprised??  Me, I prefer the salty tang of a good road song, in this case, the classic “Route 66,” which Parson Brown humoured me with, oh, three or four times in the evening.  [NEVER enough!!! - Ed.] Those of you who know me well, know that it’s all about the road tunes.  I have a playlist that has accumulated over many criss-crossings of the great US of A, and which gets trotted out whenever I hit the bricks for any length of time.  The latest addition?  ”Windows are Rolled Down” by Amos Lee….a perfect example of the iconic road song.  But I digress.

I am sorry to say that there was a distinct shortage of questionable behaviour at the birthday bash.  Generally, I hope for more.  No one was falling down [but there WAS some dancing....sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. - Ed.], no one started a bar fight, and no one was gropping the bartendress [alas! - Ed.] [hey!  that was Casey I was talking about! - WBC].  All in all, you were all WAY too civilized.  Let’s work on that for next time, shall we?!?

Onward to retail toddler-hood!

Wendy

June is bringing good weather (sometimes).  The Cheese Gallery is a beehive of activity in the next few weeks with parties, fundraisers and special events…we’d love to have you join the fun !!

• June 11 – Food tastings by Sarafino.  So Hot Sauces, “art down your throat”…plus Italian oils….tastings start tomorrow 11am, Saturday at The Cheese Gallery
• June 12 - Taste of the Town – we’ve partnered with Georgian Hills Vineyards and Antje’s Backerie for a tasting experience. Amazing food event!
• June 25th – It’s our 1st Birthday !! Parsons and Brown will rock the house 7 – 11pm and we’re working on our signature cocktail (sshh, all we can tell you is it will include tequila)
• July 1st – Canada Day events include pancake breakfast, sidewalk sale, cake cutting, music concerts, pet show, antique car show and parade.  Join us at The Cheese Gallery for “Adult Apres” 4 – 6pm, $19.95pp includes cheese tasting plate, your choice of wine and Dykstra’s, local, chocolate dipped,strawberries!
• July 8, 9 – 10 – Chili Ribfest at Cedar Run Horse Park.  Chili Cookoff, Whole Hog and Ribfest! A live music stage all weekend featuring Fathead Blues Band and Trooper
• July 10 – Town & Country Festival - 1 – 6pm.  Riverside Farm, 1843, is a gorgeous setting where the river runs through it.  7 bands, 10 local food purveyors and more….another tasty afternoon!

Cheeses you should try!  Balsamic Bella Vitano, aged and washed in Balsamic Vinegar, truly a wonderful cheese. Laliberte, an organic triple cream from Quebec, so smooth, Cottage Gold, the newest cheese from Upper Canada Cheese Co (its only here for the cottage season!)

Hope to see you soon!

Casey

Just when I thought my liver had finally recovered from Saturday’s birthday bash, Casey’s birthday arrives!

We are awash in champagne and ….oh what is it today??….ah yes, TANGERINE juice.

One of my beloved ex-employees from my Wall Street days (you know who you are, cupcake!) sent a message the other day asking if I was ever coming back into the business.  Let me just answer that question for the record:  NO.  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.  And, for the sake of clarity, NO.

Right — back to Casey’s 29th Birthday.  I feel another party coming on. [you ALWAYS feel a party coming on. - Ed.]  [yes, and that's part of my charm! - WBC] Lots of wonderful clients here and Cindy the Employee Extraordinaire has perfected the Bubbling Of The Fondue.  If any of you were on the fence today about a trip to The Cheese Gallery or Thornbury, this is going to be quality!!  I’m just sayin’….

For those of you who have been awaiting the Return Of The Kille…I mean Organic Vegetables [or maybe Killer Organic Vegetables?! - Ed.]  [Well...they ARE good.... - WBC], I am thrilled to announce that Blakely’s Organics will be starting their next winter basket program at TCG next Thursday!  10 weeks of organic fruits and veggies (one week is free if you pay in advance, folks!) in three sizes.  And they have other yummy things as well:  cold-pressed sunflower oil, ginger root, herbs…the list goes on.

And lastly, thanks to all of you who stopped in last Saturday a) to raise a noggin to my happy birthday, and b) to taste Antje’s fabulous pasta, expertly cooked and served up by Roger of Ravenna [sounds like a knight in shining armour. - Ed.]  [Indeed.  I bet he has his own set of coconuts...and has never received anything more serious than a flesh wound. - WBC].  It was a spectacular day on all counts, and a helluva lot of fun to boot.

Yours from my celebratory haze,

Wendy

…one of your booze reps shows up needing you to pair cheeses with certain new ales that she will be taste-testing with clients later in the week.  And — as we all know — the only way to really pick the best pairings is to taste the beer!  Oh darn.  What’s a poor cheesemonger to do?

Employee extraordinaire Cindy Hayhurst was emphatic that this was not in her job description, but was pressed into service nevertheless [I'll just bet she was!! - Ed.].  Her commitment to her career, even in the face of daunting tasks such as this, is truly awe-inspiring.

Fast forward half an hour and we are already awash in weissbier, but making progress with our assignment.  It’s a good thing that we have the coolest clientele on the planet…everyone who came in joined in the fun and didn’t seem to mind at all that there were approximately 18,457 tasting glasses littering the bar and check-out areas.  Cheese tastings all ’round!

Need I add that our booze rep went away happy?  [AND very refreshed, no doubt. - Ed.]

And while I’m on the subject of bread [huh? - Ed.][liquid bread?  Keep up! - WBC], I have to let you all know about Antje’s new fettucine!  IT IS HERE and I can tell you first hand that it is delizioso.   And so our fabulous baker girl has officially expanded to pasta.  Basta!

Cheers,

Wendy

As Wendy sits by the bar, and enjoys her bag  of Macadamia Bark, [did she eat the whole thing? - Ed.] it seems time to think about Valentines (yes, that’s this weekend – Monday, February 14th)

Fraktals Chocolates – some say Cracktals, as its’ true, they are soooooo addictive.  Each piece will be your last piece, until opps, the bag is gone.  Now it’s true, we have polished off our fair share in the shop,[is there any for me? - Ed.] we are stocked for this holiday.  Loved by men, women and kids of all ages, you’ll be a star with this little treat.

“Love me with Chocolate” cookies, or “Caramel Chocolate Chunk” cookies from Heavenly Sweets made famous by Heli are a guaranteed hit!  These cookies are yummy and disappear very fast.

Red Dragon is a MUST HAVE cheese for the mustard lover.  Red Dragon is an English Cheddar with wholegrain mustard seeds and English ale, made in Somerset, England.  This gourmet cheese is  buttery and spicy with plenty of bite but not too hot.  The mustard seeds provide marvelous flavour and texture.  Grilled cheese redefined.

Casey

And I, for one, CAN NOT WAIT.  This is my favourite day of the whole year!  [I'm sure that has nothing whatsoever to do with the infamous night-before party in the Village. - Ed.] [Nothing whatsoever.  (psst...Windy O'Neill's!  wooohooo!) - WBC]

The Cheese Gallery is going to be in the house for pre-registration on Thursday night with some tasty treats for all you grrls.  AND we’ve put a special surprise in the fabulous gift bags….but I’m not telling!

February 4th is also the day that CityLine is going live from Blue Mountain, so mark your calendar — Channel 28 locally at 9:00 am.  Chef Michael Bonacini (creative force behind the Oliver & Bonacini restaurants) is making fondue from OUR cheeses!

As for what’s happening here at the shop, well….some fantastic new lines that have just arrived:  Roger’s outrageous soups from Ravenna Country Market (we campaigned hard for these!), delicious prepared meals from Cafe Chartreuse, and some truly inspired treats from Heavenly Sweets [Try to leave some Fleur de Sel Caramel cookies for the customers. - Ed.]  [Hey...you snooze, you lose. - WBC].  Our friend, Heli Vogrin, who owns and runs Heavenly Sweets, has recently left Thornbury, alas, to open up her new Heavenly Sweets Cafe in Collingwood.  Drop by and see her when you have a moment — 48 Pine Street — and tell her TCG sent you…

Yours anticipatorily,

[That is NOT a word! - Ed.]

Wendy